Howdy!

I am back in the states and thrilled. However it is only 0430 and my kids are awake, which is not so good.

The move was hard. I spent a week or so being stressed out, crabby, barely sleeping, and generally scowly about everything.

My three and a half year old son has a pierced lip, courtesy of his clumsy feet, a fold-out couch, and his lower teeth. Six stitches (2 inside the lip, 4 out). He pulled that one off just after we got out of our house and into lodging. It was not a fun day.

The flight back was about what you'd expect when traveling internationally with 2 toddlers and 16 tons of assorted luggage, car seats, strollers and stuffed toys (we nearly lost the monkey but he was recovered on the jetway in Atlanta). Sheer insanity and stress.

Our truck is pretty clean- yet it still has a funk of mildew. We can't find the source though. I am beginning to suspect that some leaves are caught in a gap of a door, but I can't tell. It was pouring rain in western PA yesterday so that thwarted our truck-cleaning efforts. I went all squeaky when I spotted my awesome window sticker that I had entirely forgotten about- my little angry bee with the caption "Bee-yotch". Tee hee!

Today we put out cardboard plates on the truck so we will be legal to drive 'er back to TN, then we're off to get cell phones (despite my hatred of them, they do have some practical uses, particularly since we won't get a home phone for a while yet), and then we'll be running to the auto parts place to get goodies for the new three year old truck. That smells like mold.

But I am so happy to be home it's crazy.

Dorkelina's Fix-It Strategy #1

Give politicians- particularly those in the federal government- a pay cut. A HUGE one. Place them into the same type of system that dictates pay grades for the military, or government service jobs. Housing can be on a par with what the military gets. Same for benefits, healthcare, etc. See how many of our "champions in D.C." stick around. My bet is that they'd be swarming out to private sector jobs like rats leaving a sinking ship. We are paying these people too much. If they just care about service, then they will happily accept the kind of standards that those who really serve this country accept. Why on earth should schmoozing scumbags be pulling in outrageous amounts of money (and be left in charge of their pay raises?) when they are doing less for this nation than soldiers, police, firefighters, teachers...

We need honest politicians who really want to make the country great. Not the greedy slime that is infecting our government now.

Kick 'em out in 2010. Keep kicking until they're all gone. It won't happen all at once, but the more we reject their sense of entitlement (and our own, but that's another post) the better off we will be.

Ah, politics.

Gov. Sarah Palin's remarks regarding two recent murders are absolutely, totally on the mark. I still like Sarah, even though I am not in 100% agreement with every policy she might have. I also think she has a fantastic name (which I guess really means I think she has a brilliant mother, much like mine). At any rate, her words are wise on this subject- I hope that the parties responsible for the heinous crimes in Kansas and and Arkansas are punished swiftly and severely. Our kindness and sympathy should be reserved for the families of the slain and not the scum who murdered them. Fry 'em both.

But this brings me to a funny (not funny-ha ha, but funny-sad) story: I recall a female acquaintance of mine (in the virtual world) making the comment that Sarah Palin was a "pig" and a "Nazi" just before the election last year- because Gov. Palin is anti-abortion. I was thoroughly disgusted by the remarks, and more than a little tempted to launch into a tirade at the woman who said it. As it is, I have a hard time taking her seriously anymore. Anyway. My friend actually tried to tell me that I shouldn't vote for someone who would take away my daughter's right to have an abortion if she were raped. And my son's right to marry if he turned out gay (which diffused my anger but not my sadness, as I chuckled and mused about "my gay autistic toddler son"). The fact that as VP, Palin would not have had the ability to actually cause those things to happen was irrelevant to the conversation. So was the fact that the party my friend was enamored of would happily remove my right as a law abiding citizen to carry a gun and kill a damn rapist before he could commit his vile crime. No, no- we must not suggest such things, and accept the foaming idiocy of Obama Fandom. This chick would have taken to the streets to riot if the election had not gone her way. Don't doubt that for a second. It was scary to me to realize that even though she was a sheep, she was a fanged, dangerous, brain-dead one. FLEE! It's the Zombie Sheep Apocalypse! *screeeeaaaam!*

It's not that I think Obama is really any worse- or better- than any other politician (he's making flip-flops now that put him in my good graces more, but piss off his zombie sheep, tough lambchops there kids). I am very suspicious of all politicians because the reward for their jobs is so great that I can't help worrying about their motives for wanting it. These are not people who have any scrap of sympathy for regular folks, because they aren't regular folks. I try to base my support of a party on how big a threat I feel they are to my liberty. The left hasn't won the argument for me, not once. But it's always close. I'm quite firmly in the middle of the road on many, many things- but there are a few key points that push me onto the right, time and time again. I don't think I am alone here.

I'll be totally honest. I want to see a good third party emerge. There are many of us just a bit to either side of the middle that deserve to be free of the real wingnuts and whackjobs out on the far right and left.

We could always be the Silly Party. Silly is just more fun.

Tell me a story...

About vampires, and werewolves...

(EDIT:I apologize for it being too big for my blog, this is the smallest embed I could get from YouTube- jerks)


*embarassed squeak* I admit it. I am fairly excited about the New Moon film.

Sgt. Bones rented us the first one a week or so back (right around my birthday). I rolled my eyes and told him that a guy who is so vehemently opposed to the Harry Potter insanity* should be a little less enthused about a film based on a series of books that has created legions of obsessed fangirls- but we watched it.

Once the end credits rolled, I looked at him and said- "Now you realize you have to buy me these books, right?"

He got me a paperback of the first novel. I read it that afternoon and expressed some mild displeasure that he was unable to procure the whole set.

Two days later we went to the exchange and- lo and behold!- there was the shiny boxed set of hardcovers right on the shelf. New shipment.

Went home with those (quite pleased to have gotten an excellent deal on them), and read the remaining three over the next four days- try as I might I could not finish Breaking Dawn in one shot, caring for kids and sleep was required.

I find that the speed at which I read a book is directly related to how much I like it. It doesn't have to be perfect, profound literature- I like stories. If an author can sweep me up in the story I'm happy, even if it's not masterpiece material. The Twilight books aren't bad, and I like stories that deal with supernatural themes. I liked the characters enough to care about what happened to them. I'd read more stories by the author, without a doubt.

Once I blasted through the series I decided I wanted to read more. I re-read The Little Prince (which I have zero criticism for, it is my favorite book ever and I truly believe it to be non-fiction) in about 2 hours (including a nap near the end because I was still bushed from staying up with Breaking Dawn), then I picked out one of Salinger's Nine Stories for a re-read, then I found the only novel left in the house that I had NOT read, a Danielle Steel that my mother-in-law left behind when she visited us once. It's been floating around for three years because I don't like the genre, but I needed a new story.

Two and a half days. I hate leaving a book unfinished but honestly I was tempted to chuck it. I finally decided to finish so that I could say without hesitation that it was the WORST book I've ever read. I am afraid I may have gotten wrinkles from being annoyed at it. I know a lot of people like Danielle Steel (the woman's made a fortune churning out this dreck) but I found it offensively cliché.

Anyway. As with the Harry Potter books, I intend to see all the film versions of the Twilight series. I don't know about certain casting choices**, and I am sure I will now have other issues with the adaptations, but I will watch and I will like it. The bit in the trailer with the wolf transformation? Totally how I was hoping they'd do it.

*Sgt. Bones doesn't like H.P. because he knows he bears a resemblance to the way the young wizard is described in the stories (not so much to Daniel Radcliffe). Telling a guy he looks like an awkward teenage wizard is a mistake, BTW. I advise against it.

**Sorry fangirls. Pattinson's adorable, but Edward should be jaw-droppingly stunning.

Tee, hee, hee...

I generally dislike having to watch TV here, but I have been amused without fail by the DoD's "Chicken Knows Best" spots on AFN. The particular video I'm embedding for you focuses on the Bird Flu concerns of a couple of years ago, but it was the only one I found over at the DoD videos site. Lately we've been getting the "science is gross" one on TV. That one cracks me up too because the *ahem* camera wanders and you see the lighting chicken looking a bit befuddled off to the left.

I present you with Chicken Knows Best:

Give me a fucking break.

It's the 30th of May. We have made almost NO progress in our move.

I still have internet. Nothing is packed.

Sgt. Bones is still going to work every day. He gets maybe one day off a week. And they invariably call him to the office for some bullshit every time he does have the day off.

The kids can't be left to their own devices, of course- and I can't prepare the house while I am chasing them and trying to make sure they are eating their food and drinking their milk. The moment I release them into a room, they destroy it.

"Overwhelmed" doesn't begin to scratch the surface of this feeling I've got now. "Furious" is a little too mild a word for my general demeanor. I'm short-tempered with my kids, seething at my husband, and utterly frustrated at every turn.

My oldest kid has cold feet about moving in with us when we get home, too. Not that she gets a choice really, but I feel bad for having to point it all out, and I feel a little offended that she is thinking more about her friends than she is about her family, and guilty that I expect anything more from her really, since she is just eleven...

So not a pleasant update, but I have to dump the bad feelings somewhere or I might go off like this:

La de da, what a lovely day...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

And y'know, there goes my whole northern face.

(A bit of trivia about why I picked those images of St. Helens: I had an obsession over the May 1980 eruption when I was a child, and by the age of four-ish had essentially destroyed the issue of National Geographic with an article about the event. I read it hundreds of times. I was a nerdy toddler.)

What a drag it is getting old.

As referenced by the Stones quote in the title- it's my stupid birthday.

32.

Ugh.